I was just watching a class promo video by Brian Johnson and needed to quickly share a point he made about one way we develop greater trust/confidence in ourselves.
He talked about how the Identity > Action > Feelings (IAF) progression works in helping us to develop high levels of confidence (and skills, etc.).
When we get IAF right, meaning, we see ourselves (I) as able to do something, we take action (A) and feel better (F) about ourselves as a result.
But, when we reverse IAF, we run into trouble.
Meaning: if we focus on our feelings about whether we can do something first, we often don’t feel like doing something (because we don’t know if we can do it, because we’ve never tried to), so we don’t take action and subsequently we don’t see ourselves as being able to do the “thing.”
So, again, start with the “I” and see yourself as being able to do the “thing” and you will take action and then will feel the feelings of pride and accomplishment for having done something.
Are you a manager of your circumstances or a creator of your life?
Do you (merely) react to what happens and “make the best of it?”
Or are you clear about what you want your life to be about and are actively implementing a plan to create what you want?
Are you a manager or a creator?
We live into the questions we ask ourselves.
If we ask crap questions, like “Why does this always happen to me?” or “How come I can never catch a break,?” we’ll get crap “answers.”
Similarly, if we ask small, or limiting, questions we will have requisitely small lives.
However, if we ask useful, resourceful questions, we’ll get answers we can use, answers that are helpful.
Our questions are just an aspect of our self-talk.
And, as our self-talk goes, so go our lives.
Are our lives the result of fate or do we choose our lives?
Are we consigned to what our circumstances (/our pasts) allow for in the unfolding of our lives, or can we create our lives, can we be willful?
I just watched an interesting video from Marshall Goldsmith that offers a (hybrid) answer: Yes.
I found Marshall’s point (that both play a role) interesting and useful.
What’s most exciting to me is that this hybrid answer offers us a wonderful opportunity to 1) consciously create our lives (and understand the power we have to make our futures) and 2) to understand the role that our environment plays in our lives (and that we can make a numbers of choices in regards to our environments to shape them).
Either/Or thinking is seldom useful or correct (and sometimes dangerous).
When we understand the power we have, and the power of the things around us, we can make wise choices about what to do and what we (tolerate and) embrace around us.
What are you choosing? Does it serve you?
What’s around you? Does it serve you?
When you know something you (merely) have recall of some information; when you’ve learned something you’re able to take positive and/or constructive action based on information.