Is THIS Getting In Your Way?

ByMatthew

It’s the people around us who shape us and our behavior. Ask the BIG question: “What do you want to achieve in life?” And then think, “Are the people I’m hanging around helping me achieve this?” – Craig Ballantyne

This is one of the most difficult things to ask yourself.

Humans are social creatures and we need people.

We are genetically programmed to seek the company of others – loners generally perished in pre-historic times.

Fortunately, nowadays, our survival is so difficult.

Unfortunately, we still unconsciously run some of the routines of our cave-man forebears.

The key is get clear about who is in your life and why.

You don’t have to “dump” all the people who don’t seem to have it all together (I mean, do you have it all together right now?).

But you do have to identify the doubters, the complainers, the energy-vampires and the Eeyores and inoculate yourself from their influence. And you do need to dis-engage from some of those folks.

Once you’ve done this you can seek out the folks who can help you to rise up. Not by giving you anything, or doing anything for you, but people who – by their example and words/beliefs – help you to see the potential and power within you.

I say for every Eeyore/Doubter/Chronic-Complainer you dump, add a high performer to your circle* and for every person who doesn’t bring you up, but you want to keep around for some reason,** find a way to love them (for their humanity) and not need any validation from them.

*****

* Make sure you have some place you “go” regularly that is predominately high-performing/high-quality people; it’s better if you interact with them in-person.

** I am speaking mainly of family here . . . .

Similar Posts

  • What Makes You Weak

    ByMatthew

    Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves. – Robert Frost One of the things that gets in the way of our strength is how we mask, deny, subjugate and otherwise dis-empower our true selves. Our true self is a well-spring of power, and creativity, and industry and, most importantly,…

  • Thought vs. Thinking

    ByMatthew

    I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough, we must do. – Leonardo da Vinci Thought is so vitally important to the quality and content of our lives, but thinking is over-rated. What we think creates our emotions and our emotions create…

  • Bon Voyage!

    ByMatthew

    Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. – Winston Churchill Sure, this quote is dripping with sarcasm and is both clever and funny, but it raises an important point (by way of absurdity . . . ): How tactful are you?…

  • Al’s Lamp

    ByMatthew

    We’ve all heard about Aladdin’s Lamp . . . you know, you rub the lamp and out comes a Genie who grants you three wishes. I want to tell you about a similar lamp, but it’s Al’s. Yes, you still rub it, and a genie does come out, but 1) he’s dressed a bit more…

  • The (Seeming) Power of Habits

    ByMatthew

    Habits are powerful, generally hidden, drivers of behavior. My basic understanding of habits is that there’s a cue, a response and a reward (or result) (that is seen as desirable and/or functional). Many habits are not, actually, good for us, and/or those around us. *  *  * A question some coaches (myself included) like to ask…