Willpower is Not Something You Get

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. – Gandhi

Will, and its more common usage, willpower, is much talked about – and much mis-understood.

People think will-power is something they need to get from outside themselves, and once they have it, they need to strengthen it and maintain it.

Our true nature is unlimited strength and power.

We don’t need anything from outside ourselves, we need only access the power within.

It is through socialization and “schooling” that we take on limitations and false ideas about what’s possible and what we “can” do.

Like the adult elephant tethered by the tiny rope (because as a baby he/she couldn’t overcome it), we think we “can’t do this” or “can’t do that” because we lack the “will-power.”

Bullsh!t

Lack-of-willpower is just a belief about what’s “possible” or what’s “okay” or – and this is a big and hidden belief – what’s going to be “acceptable” to those around us (and thus keep us in the good graces of our “tribe*”)

We have stories, both about what we think ouf ourselves and what we think others think of us, that keep us in safe, predictable routines.

Routines that keep us “safe” and connected and loved.

Routines that can be replaced with empowering andf useful routines. But only if we approach change with care and intelligence. It’s almost as if we can “spook” our routines if we move towards them too quickly or try to change them too radically.

You see, we have lots of will-power – it’s just that it’s working to kepe us “safe,” which keeps us small.

*   *   *

* And keeping faith with those close to us, even if it’s mis-guided and keeps us playing small, is an aspect of our survival instinct and something not easily overcome (without careful and conscious effort).

Similar Posts

  • The Wastefulness (and Impossibility) of Multi-Tasking

    Here’s some ancient wisdom: “To do two things at once is to do neither.” – Publius Syrus And some modern “validation:” People confuse “rapid-switching” with multi-tasking [NPR article] And Peter Bregman explains that trying to multi-task makes us less-smart, less-productive and less-competent [HBR Blogs] I’m convinced (of course I already knew that trying to multi-task was…

  • How Is Your Speech

    Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is. – Publilius Syrus Language is everything to our lives. How we talk about who we are, what we want and what we get is so, so important. The question is: how is your speech? Do you build yourself up, or tear…

  • Are You Good at What Matters?

    What if what you’re good at doesn’t – really – matter? So often we take refuge, or more accurately, hide in the the things we’re good at. But what if those things are not what really matters, for us, individually? What if we hide in those talents to avoid the hard work of learning and growing? What if we’re…

  • Don’t Speak, Unless…

    “Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” – Plato I have read that one should not speak unless it improves upon the silence. It’s good advice. One thing I am working on (improving) is my word economy. Sometimes I talk too much. I offer more detail…

  • The Dalai Lama and Money

    I betcha the Dalai Lama has a pretty good “money consciousness” (MC). I’ve been listening to an audio book in the car by the DL (that’s what I sometimes call him, cuz we’re down… ) (How To See Yourself, if you’re wondering) and when he mentioned money he got me to thinking. Thinking about how…

  • Remember: You’re The Tree

    We are like the little branch that quivers during a storm, doubting our strength and forgetting we are the tree—deeply rooted to withstand all life’s upheavals. – Dodinsky When the winds of change and challenge blow, remember you are the tree. The strong, flexible tree, able to bend and not break, to both sway with…