Category: Blog

How To Use Your Words to YOUR Advantage

Does the way you use language build you up, does it remind you of your strengths and potential, or does it subtly, gradually, break you down?

Do you say “Sorry,” “It’s no big deal,” or any number of subtle ‘diminshers?’

Don’t think it matters?

Don’t think the words you speak, internally and externally, impact your current and future life?

Then stop talking and see how things go without language.

Imagine doing that, and feel what the ‘silence’ might be like. Then resolve to fill it going forward with resourceful and constructive words.

Don’t Wait, Be Great Now

A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier. – Tom Stoppard

The great thing about stepping up and creating a great attitude within yourself, about modeling behavior, is that it confers (at least) two benefits: one you get to feel better and be more effective when you focus on the good and have a healthy attitude and two, you get to uplift others by modeling an attitude that works.

Smooth Roads or Suspension?

I recently read a (nother) brilliant post by Seth Godin, one piece of which was about resilience.

It got me to thinking: is better to have ultra smooth roads and cars with no suspension, no shock absorbers, or to build cars with resilience?

Which would be a more intelligent use of resources?

Living in the Northeast I can tell you that trying to create – and maintain – roads smooth enough to need no suspension would be at the very least incredibly expensive and practically impossible.

Instead we build cars with resilience.

Cars that absorb bumps big and small.

Are there things, like deep potholes, that cause actual damage to our cars? Absolutely.

But in those extreme cases all we need do is repair our cars.

So it should be with our lives.

Better to develop resilience. The ability to handle bumps – big and small – in the road.

The other thing about “suspension” is that it includes springs.

Springs allow cars to carry heavy loads without “bottoming out.”

Build your life with “suspension:” consider emotional intelligence and health your shock absorbers and physical health and grit your “springs.”

When you have true resilience – the ability to handle the bumps and occasionally carry heavy loads – life will be a much better ride.

How Choice Works, Really

You can’t make people change.

You can’t make yourself change.

People make choices based on the best information they have available, according the concerns most pressing at the time.

What’s more, we biologically constructed to resist and avoid change.

Change equals the unknown.

And we have deep genetic programming to avoid the unknown and stick to what we know and understand – even it doesn’t serve our greater good or better selves.

And we continue to choose . . .

We can’t not choose.

*  *  *

So, people make choices, and choices make the person.

We are nothing if not the sum of our choices.

So, the way to make your life better, more fulfilling, more “successful,” is learn how to make better choices.

But how?

*  *  *

We must develop greater awareness.

Greater awareness of our moment-to-moment mental life.

Greater awareness of the beliefs that determine what we focus on.

Greater awareness of who we are and what we deeply, truly, authentically want.

When we cultivate and sustain this greater awareness, we will choose better.

And because our choices make us, we become better, we will achieve more and be more fulfilled.