Category: Blog

What Keeps You Small?

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. – Pema Chodron

That which we resist, persists.

What keeps coming up for you? “Causing you*” persistent, or recurring, or even occasional, angst, frustration, upset, overwhelm, anger or sadness?

What in you must evolve to solve, or better yet make irrelevant, this thing?

What insists on you growing, but yet you cling to out-dated, and out-moded, patterns of  thinking, feeling and acting?

Identify it.

Make peace with it.

Live anew.

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* I use the term “causes you” advisedly because you decide what things mean and how they impact you. As the Creator of your Reality, it’s up to you to be upset, or grateful; angry, or resolute; sad, or curious; frustrated or inquiring; . . . .

A Life Not Needing Escape

Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don’t need to escape from. – Seth Godin

There’s really not much to add to this.

Why do so many of us live lives that we regularly ponder escaping from?

Of course it’s natural – and healthy – to desire experiences, and thus taking time to do those activities is a good thing.

But, why do we muddle through, leading, as Thoreau says, lives of quiet desperation preoccupied with thoughts of some vacation destination?

What if we had an integrated life where time and thoughts of gentle anticipation were devoted authentically to our labor and our holidays?

Monday Practice: Learning from Ric Elias

This Monday’s Weekly Practice comes last week’s post talking about Ric Elias’ (amazing/life-changing/inspiring/wake-up-from-your-slumber) TED talk. If you’ve haven’t watched the video and read the post, please click here and re-join me below.

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This week I want to to explore the three questions Ric raises. Each day, take some time to write out the answers to the following questions:

1) What are you putting off until tomorrow?

If it’s something big, what’s the next smallest step you can take? Take that next-smallest-step immediately after answering these three questions (and so on . . . ).

If it’s something small commit to it doing right after you answer the three questions.

2) Where are you wasting time on things that don’t matter with people who do matter?

Identify the situations and relationships where you’re letting petty and small and insignificant things get in the way of real and important relationships.

If you need to apologize to reset the relationship, do so.

If you need to explain that you need to do things differently now, do so.

If you need to . . . , do so.

Cherish time with those who matter to you, and act accordingly.

3) What’s your Top Priority? Are you treating it as such?

Really, truly treating it with the energy, time and love that it deserves?

If not, readjust your actions – and schedule – in whatever way necessary to my your “top priority” your Top Priority.

Answer these three questions every day for a week.

See what emerges and adjust your life accordingly.

If you’re unsure at any point, sit quietly, close your eyes, place you hand on your heart and ask whatever question necessary to deliver the wisdom you need.

You have the answers you need and the personal power required to make the changes that really matter.

The Tragedy of Playing It Safe

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. – Aristotle

But what if you want to be something?

What then… ?

You must dare, in ways small and large.

As Brene’ Brown would say: be vulnerable.

As Shedd would say: ships are safe in the harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.

Be willing to hoist your anchor and set sail.

Be intelligent and calculated to the extent prudent, but do not dare not.

Start small and build your muscle of daring.*

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* And it is indeed a muscle; one that gets strong with use and atrophied with neglect.

How To Build Your Reputation

The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. – Socrates

We all want* a good reputation, to be well-regarded in the eyes of others.

Wanting a “good” reputation is not enough though. You need to have a clear picture. You need a plan for creating and maintaining your good reputation.

How do you want to impact others?

What qualities do you want to be known for?

For what you do want people to come to you for? You are the Go-to-Person for what?

Figure it out. Get it down on paper. And then get busy being – consistently – the person you want people to think you are.**

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* Of course, we don’t need the validation and approval of others, we just appreciate “reputation” as a feedback mechanism.

** Always remember the difference between reputation and character. The former is what people think you are (and you have as many reputations as there are people) and the latter is who you truly are.