I recently read a post on Johnny B. Truant’s blog that really hit home. So much so that I wanted to do two things: share it with my readers and 2) think on and write about each piece of his post. The post is “20 Truths About Life No One Wants To Believe” and the next one I am going to tackle is:
16. Clueless people don’t know they’re clueless, and never will. If you’re aghast that someone is a total dipshit and feel the need to show them the dipshit nature of their ways, don’t bother to try. It may be super-obvious to you that you really shouldn’t rest your testicles on the countertop while using the sink like some old men used to do at my gym, but they’re never going to have that epiphany. They may change to please you, but they will never think, “Wow, I was really dumb!”
This is a great follow-on to last week’s post. But I’m going to relate something from the coaching world to make my point.
Coaches never coach unless asked. Why? Because actual coaching cannot occur if the person is resistant to the possibility of change.
Are coaching clients, somewhat, resistant to change? Sure. But they are open to the possibility of change.
They are open to the possibility of asking themselves: 1) what they truly want 2) what they’re doing to keep it out of their lives and 3) what they’re willing to experiment with instead.
Coaching is a permission-based activity. People must be open to change to create any sort of lasting change.
So, just as I wouldn’t waste (anyone’s) energy or time trying to coach someone who isn’t open to change, nor should you try to educate/change/enlighten/advise/improve any one else.