If being hard on yourself was going to work, it would have worked by now. – Jamie Smart
This reminds of something I’ve heard: if you talked to other people the way you (sometimes) talk to your self, you’d have no friends.
Sometimes people think that if they’re easy on themselves they won’t accomplish anything.
That if they don’t beat themselves up that they won’t work hard and accomplish their goals.
It’s a mistake of belief.
There is a way to hold yourself accountable and be positive.
It does require practice.
Two kinds of practice really: 1) you must continually examine negative, self-defeating beliefs for truth and usefulness and 2) again and again choose to focus on what can do towards what you want.*
But such conscious, functional awareness is not the norm.
It must be cultivated.
Its foundation is a (positively and correctly) trained mind.
One of the best ways to create this sort of mind is through meditation.
* * *
What will work is a focus on what you want and what you can do now.
To be able to focus on that you must have a clear and calm mind.
* Of course, you must have sorted out what exactly you truly, authentically want.