The problem isn’t that I (or any of us . . . ) have a hole in my soul (large, small or tiny), it’s that I’ve created, and nurtured, a belief that I have a hole in my soul (along with the idea that souls can have holes). And that, un-consciously or otherwise, I maintain that belief.
Beliefs are just thoughts that we fall in love with. Ideas that, regardless of whether they truly serve us, we take on and cling to, internalize and feed and make our mental pals.
The solution is not to fill the hole in my soul (kinda catchy to say that in my mind . . . it has be a song lyric somewhere*), it’s to realize and live the truth that my soul is full , and complete, and whole. I just have thinking that leads me to believe otherwise.
One of my current non-resourceful-thinking-threads has to do with a woman and a relationship that ended a while ago. It’s a long story, but suffice it to say, at least here, that we broke up and I (25%) miss her and (75%) miss having a girl-friend/relationship.
So, what to do?
First, challenge the belief that I’m not okay because the relationship is over.
Second, Ask what what else I could believe that was truthful and served my well-being.
Third, practice that thought and notice what changes and how it feels/works.
* Oh wait! It is a song lyric!
This post was inspired by my singing one of my favorite songs in my head: “Buffalo River Home” by John Hiatt.
The lyric is:
Trying to fill up this hole in my soul
But nothing fits there