Category: Blog

The Distinction Between If or How

There’s a fundamental difference between the things you do every day, every single day, and the things you do only when the spirit moves you.

One difference is that once you’ve committed to doing something daily, you find that the spirit moves you, daily.

Rather than having a daily debate about today’s agenda, you can decide once that you will do something, and then decide every single day how to do it.

Seth Godin

When it comes to what we do everyday we can choose between we’re going to do or how we’re going to do what we’ve committed to.

Commit to doing certain things each day with the only question being how, exactly, you’re going to do it.

For example: you can decide that you are going to help solve problems today – that’s the given.

You just have to decide how you’re going to do it.

Much better than deciding if you’re going to solve problems today.

Goal-Setting Doesn’t Work (Unless . . . )

You do.

Now, in practice, goal-setting doesn’t work, for most people.

Take New Year’s Resolutions, we all know how successful they are . . . .

I’m not here to blame or cast aspersions, but to explain why goal-setting doesn’t work, for most people.

*  *  *

Okay, so the fundamental truth is: goals(etting) don’t work, unless you do.

But, why aren’t people doing the work!?

Is it because they’re bad, lazy people who want life to hand them everything?

Well, there might be a couple people like that, but overwhelmingly, people are well-meaning and hard-working.

So what’s the problem?

*  *  *

People are not sufficiently connected to their Why.

It’s either that they don’t know why they want something, or there’s a competing commitment, or they actually want something else (and for whatever reason they are not aware of it, or won’t acknowledge that fact)

For goal-setting to work you must connect to your “why.”

You must have sufficient clarity about why you want something before you’re going to do the work.

Then – and only then – will you get busy, and follow-through to completion.

Give First

Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. – Hafiz

I recently had a realization similar to the quote above.

I was waiting for love to come to me, to be loved and cared for before giving love.

That’s not how it works.

Whatever’s missing, in whatever way, bring it forth.

Give first and see what comes back.

Not because you want reciprocation, but because you want to have a life bathed in light.

The Three Bones

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone. – Reba McEntire

I love this one.

You need to dream because without dreams life is small and sad.

You need a backbone because you’ll have to work hard, and sometimes need to stand up for yourself.

And of course, you need to be able to laugh at life – and yourself – because sometimes it’s just not that serious.

Responsibility, Not Blame

Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else. – Les Brown 

The key is to understand that there’s a huge difference between responsibility and blame.

When you accept responsibility for your life you acknowledge your role (whatever it was) in creating your current circumstances (and thus empower yourself to make changes and improvements).

When you blame yourself you cast yourself as a victim, subject to and at the mercy of outside influences (while at the same time weakening yourself with shame).

When you’re responsible you know that changes and improvements are going to start with you.

Yes, you may enlist the help of others, but you know that your life is up to you.