Category: Blog

Get Better, See Who Responds

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. – Unknown

Through our socialization, and because of our nature as humans, we become like those around us.

We become like our families, friends, fellow students and co-workers. This is the nature of social beings. Humans were designed to gather and support each other – it’s how we survived when things were tough.

Things are different now though, to an extent.

If you’re reading this, it’s very unlikely that your physical security or survival is in question.

Thus, the need to gather, and align, with the humans you happen to find yourself with is reduced, perhaps eliminated, but certainly different than our early ancestors.

You can, instead, decide what relationships serve you and focus on those.

To the extent possible, you need to find and nurture relationships that serve you – and that allow you to serve others, in a healthy way.

Does this mean you sever ties with family? No. But you can re-orient yourself to those people if necessary. You can spend less time with them if that’s best and create counter-balancing, positive, relationships.

Do you need to let some some friends go? Maybe. But make sure you step up your game first. Be a model and example and see who steps up their game in return.

The key is for you to be better and see who responds.

A big part of being better is starting to insist on more from yourself and those you associate with and reducing the toxic, negative, lazy behavior* you tolerate.

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* Notice I said “behavior,” not “people;” you don’t have to eliminate people necessarily, to implement this idea. But sometimes you do . . . .

Dream Bigger, Act Tinier

Just wanted to share with you something that was shared with me:

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Whenever you think that your needs are not met, you’re telling the story of a future. – Byron Katie

Because the present moment meets all needs; it’s only the future that does not.

That’s why my friend Rich Litvin always reminds us to dream big… dream as big as you can, but then take the smallest step possible toward that dream.

And take it now. That smallest possible step is one you can take right now.

Thanks to Steve Chandler and his great e-mails!

What Do You Expect? Of Yourself?

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. – Jack Kinder

So many people have low expectations.

It’s “safer” that way.

If you don’t want much, you can avoid “failure.”

The thing is there’s no such thing as failure, just results.

Sometimes the results are not what we desired and/or anticipated.

That’s okay if you build a desire for learning into every goal.

Make everything you strive for an experiment, a way to learn more about yourself and the World.

Or, you can continue to expect less, and get it.

Are You Floating, or Improving?

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. – Winston Churchill

We often think we have the right strategy, usually because it isn’t creating something painful or terrible, but don’t regularly examine our results.

It’s a form of floating through life that’s really just avoiding pain.

Sure, we make some plans and set a general direction; i.e. we make basic decisions about where we want to live, getting married, have children and what sort of work to do (generally… ), but it is the rare person who regularly sits down and asks:

“What do I want? Now? Given what I’ve done and learned, what do I want my life to be about over the next six months, year and five years?”

Once you ask yourself those questions you can then be the sort of person who examines their results against your clear and authentic goals.

Then you’ll have beautiful strategy, and better and better results – because you’re paying attention to both.