Listen, Instead

The best way to persuade people is with your ears – by listening to them. – Dean Rusk

There’s a difference between persuasion and coercion.

If you persuade, you are either helping someone see a different point of view or to act when they would not have otherwise.

To persuade you need trust.

Trust is built through listening.

Through the kindness and presence that helps one feel safe.

Take the time to listen and make sure that people feel heard.

Or, you can use force of some sort.

You can be the proverbial bull-in-the-china-shop and get your way.

But that “victory” will be short-lived and/or grudgingly given.

Instead, listen.

Similar Posts

  • The Right Way To Gossip

    As destructive as gossip is normally, turned on its head it can be an incredible force for good. A recent e-mail from Darren Hardy described the power of reverse-gossip: talking about people, behind their backs, in a positive way. Read about it here.  It’s akin to (a definition of) true generosity: giving to someone who really…

  • Hope v. Expectation

    Here’s a short, but oh so sweet, post from Seth Godin: Hope and expectation Hope is fuel, it moves us forward and it amplifies our best work. Expectation is the killer of joy, the shortest route to disappointment. When we expect that something will happen, we can’t help but be let down… *  *  *…

  • Beyond Responding

    I’m not sure if it is a word, or even if it could be a word, but I want to offer you the option of “pre-ponding.” There’s responding and reacting (and there’s over-responding and over-reacting, but those options are for another post… ), and there is pro-acting. I want to create a distinction between pro-acting…

  • Progress

    Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable . . . . Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. – Martin Luther King, Jr. So it is in life. Every step towards the goal of being one who lives with clarity, energy…

  • It’s Up To You

    “We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light.” – Earl Nightingale No one is coming. No one is coming to rescue you, or make you do the work, or take the next step with your dream. No one can give you permission to…