If there is a fear of falling, the only safety consists in deliberately jumping – Carl Jung
So often we don’t take risks because we’re afraid things won’t work out. We may not have that conscious thought, but the truth of not taking action or a risk that fear keeps us stuck.
There’s a very good explanation for this (our emotional brain values self-preservation over all else, and we rarely undertake voluntary change), but I want to offer a thought that just might help. This thought will be in the form of a personal story.
I’m not a good networker. Or at least I’m not good at approaching people I don’t know. I’m also not good at small talk.
I recently read something that gave me an idea (Chapter Five of Steve Chandler’s new book): what if my reluctance to “show up” and “network” was 1) based on need and 2) was framed non-resourcefully?
What if I could understand my motive better, and look at the situation differently, more resourcefully?
Well, guess what!? I can. And I am.
* * *
My insight has to do with the quote above. One issue I was having was that I was afraid to jump because I wasn’t sure anyone would catch me. I was basing my decision to “jump” (i.e. network . . . ) on whether people would like me, or be interested in my services.
That’s a needy place. And needy is yucky. Desperation — in any form — stinks.
The truth is I have wings and can jump without fear. My wings are my ability to serve and be useful. I don’t need to be “caught” if fly on my wings of service.
The item bit is reframing what I am there to do at a “networking” event. When I go there with the intention to serve, to be curious and learn about other people, then I can shed all the anxieties and shame that come any expectations I may have about being good enough, or clever enough or smooth enough. I don’t have to worry about “small talk” because I there to connect and learn about people.
I am there to be open and of service. How can I be of service?
Just by being friendly and curious.
Anyone can do that.
Because everyone has wings.