Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. – Unknown
Through our socialization, and because of our nature as humans, we become like those around us.
We become like our families, friends, fellow students and co-workers. This is the nature of social beings. Humans were designed to gather and support each other – it’s how we survived when things were tough.
Things are different now though, to an extent.
If you’re reading this, it’s very unlikely that your physical security or survival is in question.
Thus, the need to gather, and align, with the humans you happen to find yourself with is reduced, perhaps eliminated, but certainly different than our early ancestors.
You can, instead, decide what relationships serve you and focus on those.
To the extent possible, you need to find and nurture relationships that serve you – and that allow you to serve others, in a healthy way.
Does this mean you sever ties with family? No. But you can re-orient yourself to those people if necessary. You can spend less time with them if that’s best and create counter-balancing, positive, relationships.
Do you need to let some some friends go? Maybe. But make sure you step up your game first. Be a model and example and see who steps up their game in return.
The key is for you to be better and see who responds.
A big part of being better is starting to insist on more from yourself and those you associate with and reducing the toxic, negative, lazy behavior* you tolerate.
* Notice I said “behavior,” not “people;” you don’t have to eliminate people necessarily, to implement this idea. But sometimes you do . . . .