Category: Blog

Shift to Service

Sometimes I come across something so useful/compelling/interesting that I need to share it in its entirety.

Below is one of those things (and it doesn’t matter if you’re a sales-person or entrepreneur or work in a corporate setting or the non-profit sector, or . . . ):

In most of our professional relationships we stay focused on ourselves. We’re fascinated by how we’re “coming off.” We’re constantly monitoring what the other person must now be thinking of us. We live as if we were surrounded by mirrors. It is miserable.

When we shift our focus to the other person in the relationship, something paradoxically powerful happens. Spencer Johnson, author of “The One-Minute Sales Person,” calls it “the wonderful paradox: I have more fun, and enjoy more financial success, when I stop trying to get what I want and start helping other people get what they want.”

Thank you Steve Chandler for sharing this.

It Was Okay, But Now It’s NOT

It’s okay that you haven’t worked as hard as you could have.

It’s okay that you’ve chosen safety over risk.

It’s okay that you’ve been less than you are.

It’s okay because it’s in the past.

But it’s not okay anymore.

It’s not okay for you to read this and keeping mailing-it-in.

It’s not okay to play it small and safe anymore.

It’s time for you be who you are, truly.

You are forgiven for what you’ve done, and what you haven’t done, in the past.

But it’s no longer okay. Not. Anymore.

Wanna Feel Bad? (Make Resolutions)

Besides the ‘fact’ that only 8% of people fulfill their New Year’s Resolutions (NYRs), NYRs are a terrible idea.

Why?

1) They are a silly social construct that serves little productive purpose and 2) they take you out of the Present.

Let’s focus on #2.

If you want to be productive and successful you must spend the vast majority of time in the Present.

It can be useful to visit the Past and the Future, for very, very short periods to learn from prior experience and create authentic, intelligent goals for the future. Otherwise, be in the moment.

Learn to be present and aware – it’s the only place anything actually happens.

Or you can make NYRs, driven by social/cultural forces and feel bad when don’t achieve them.

It’s up to you (It’s always up to you.)

It’s Not Out There

Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside. – Ramana Maharshi

I have been thinking a lot about how “personal development” works.

How do we live a “good” life?

How do we achieve our goals?

How do we exist in a world that sometimes feels too big, confusing and isolating?

It would seem that most of the “answers” out there are to do this, or that, and not do this, or that. And if you want it bad enough, you’ll get “it.”

The problem is I don’t think that’s how it works.

All that advice, all those strategies and tactics rest on a core assumption: that “it” is out there.

What if the opposite were true?

What if instead of going outside our selves and doing and getting and stopping and starting were wrong?

What if all we needed to do was go within?

What if all we needed to do was uncover the beauty and genius and passion and purpose and power that is underneath all the crap we’ve taken on over the years?

What if we are covered in layers of what our parents (as well-meaning and doing-their-best as they were), and our schools and our friends and society and culture have heaped upon us?

The layers of stuff we took on because we’re social animals that need to belong?

What if forgave them, and ourselves, for that and asked ourselves: what if I was perfect and magical, at my core?

Well, it’s true.

We are.

We are perfect and magical and whole and amazing and strong and  . . .

We’ve just taken on habits of thinking, believing, feeling and acting that keeps us safe (i.e. in the tribe/pack/group and not doing anything that seems risky).

All we need to do is look at what we’re thinking, believing, feeling and doing and ask ourselves: is this in alignment with my perfect wholeness, my true nature, or is it serving something else?

If it’s something else do something else.

Want a Door? MAKE a Door

Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. – Coco Chanel

The only time you should beat on a wall is if you are (hitting it in such a way that you’re) making a hole for a door.

Feebly pounding on or flailing against a wall in the hopes it will become a door only wastes your time (and, if walls were so inclined, annoys the wall).