Associations Are Everything

ByMatthew

Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it. – Wilferd A. Peterson

Allow me to add two well-worn sayings to the above:

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

If you’re the smartest/strongest/wisest/hardest-working person in the room, you need to get a different room.

*   *   *

There are different flavors of explanation for the above; suffice it to say that we are social creatures and we cannot be unlike those we spend significant time with.

I believe a big part of this is the idea of interpersonal dissonance. Dissonace must be resolved, at least in our minds and relationships.

Depending on a number of personal factors we will become like those we are around and they will become like us.

Without getting into the “weeds” of this, let me say that’s there is positive and negative dissonance. The former causes us to level-up to those performing at a higher level and the latter causes us to play small (so we don’t make others uncomfortable).

If you’re not feeling drawn to get better and improve, guess which one you’re experiencing?

There’s no stasis here. You’re either getting better or you’re not.

You’re going to be “walking” anyway, better to walk with the dreamers . . . .

Similar Posts

  • It’s Up To You

    ByMatthew

    Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. – Ancient Chinese Proverb As a coach this is something that I occasionally encounter: working with a client who says they want to change, but doesn’t take action (or takes incomplete action). It’s important to understand that change is hard. We are genetically programmed to avoid…

  • Be Kind Because You Can

    ByMatthew

    One theory says that if you treat people well, you’re more likely to encourage them to do what you want, making all the effort pay off. Do this, get that. Another one, which I prefer, is that you might consider treating people with kindness merely because you can. Regardless of what they choose to do…

  • Never Stop Caring, or Trying

    ByMatthew

    Sometimes someone else says it better than you ever can; with that in mind here’s a post from Seth Godin: Forgive yourself for not being the richest, the thinnest, the tallest, the one with the best hair. Forgive yourself for not being the most successful, the cutest or the one with the fastest time. Forgive…

  • It’s All About the WHY

    ByMatthew

    Something just occurred to me: “What about all the folks that say they want to do X, or be better at Y or stop doing Z? They all say they want to change but complain it’s too hard, or they can change for a while, but eventually “slip.” The truth is that the “how” is easy when…