Is THIS Getting In Your Way?

It’s the people around us who shape us and our behavior. Ask the BIG question: “What do you want to achieve in life?” And then think, “Are the people I’m hanging around helping me achieve this?” – Craig Ballantyne

This is one of the most difficult things to ask yourself.

Humans are social creatures and we need people.

We are genetically programmed to seek the company of others – loners generally perished in pre-historic times.

Fortunately, nowadays, our survival is so difficult.

Unfortunately, we still unconsciously run some of the routines of our cave-man forebears.

The key is get clear about who is in your life and why.

You don’t have to “dump” all the people who don’t seem to have it all together (I mean, do you have it all together right now?).

But you do have to identify the doubters, the complainers, the energy-vampires and the Eeyores and inoculate yourself from their influence. And you do need to dis-engage from some of those folks.

Once you’ve done this you can seek out the folks who can help you to rise up. Not by giving you anything, or doing anything for you, but people who – by their example and words/beliefs – help you to see the potential and power within you.

I say for every Eeyore/Doubter/Chronic-Complainer you dump, add a high performer to your circle* and for every person who doesn’t bring you up, but you want to keep around for some reason,** find a way to love them (for their humanity) and not need any validation from them.

*****

* Make sure you have some place you “go” regularly that is predominately high-performing/high-quality people; it’s better if you interact with them in-person.

** I am speaking mainly of family here . . . .

Similar Posts

  • Wherever You Go . . .

    Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene. – Arthur Christopher Benson Where ever you go, there you are. It is rare that a change of address will solve one’s problems. The great news is that when you get to the core of what’s bothering you it can be…

  • What People Want From Leaders*

    Trustworthy. Respectable. Admirable. *  *  * Leadership, more than anything, is a personal relationship between leader and led. It’s not a hierarchical relationship, where one person has power and the other none. Sure, a leader must be technically savvy and proficient, s/he must know “the business,” but at its core, its most fundamental, leadership is…

  • The Key To Change

    Change is a door that can only be opened from the inside. – Terry Neil Any change that doesn’t come from within, that isn’t freely chosen and authentic, is coerced, and will be resisted. Even if one successfully sustains a coerced change, some form/amount of misery will ensue. *  *  * Decide who you want…

  • What You Have

    You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. – Theodor Seuss Geisel Everything you need, you have. The only other thing is what…

  • The Right Way To Gossip

    As destructive as gossip is normally, turned on its head it can be an incredible force for good. A recent e-mail from Darren Hardy described the power of reverse-gossip: talking about people, behind their backs, in a positive way. Read about it here.  It’s akin to (a definition of) true generosity: giving to someone who really…