If you’re even willing to believe it’s possible, how do you transform negative interpretations about a situation, that you seem to keep holding?
The answer, or at least part of the answer, is to uncover the story you have about how, somehow or another, holding on to that interpretation serves you (generally, serves your emotions).
So often we want to – or at least we could, if we wanted to – remake our sense of a decision so that it actually serves us, now.
Meaning: instead of holding on to a dis-empowering view of something we did in the past, and continuing to shame or berate our ourselves, we focus on why the decision was useful, whether it be for learning or dis-proving a false belief, and we see how the experience (and the decision we made to create it) actually serves our understanding and growth.
Usually we can’t do that because doing so would violate our sense of what someone dear to us thinks about the decision.
But that might not even be accurate! We might think someone thinks something about what we did, and we hold that in our minds in a sense of allegiance to someone who matters to us, but maybe they don’t think that?
Or maybe they do . . . but we don’t have to. We are always able to choose our thoughts and beliefs based on what we’ve learned and what we know is best for us.
If you’re stuck, it just might be because you’re letting someone else’s voice ring in your head.