Below is an e-mail message I received from a mentor of mine, Steve Chandler. I was inspired to add my take on his inspiring – and useful – message.
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Rather than being fearless, which as Steve outlines below, is a bit of an impossibility, why not be love-ful?
Sure, being “courageous” or “bold” or whatever adjective you prefer is an approach many have tried, but when you’re “love-ful” you bring an abundance of great feeling to the opportunity.
What if you found the over-flowing sense of love (and all senses of love are overflowing . . . ) you have for what you want to create? What if you focus on the amazing good that can come from a transformed situation?
When you come from a place of love you have an energy that absolutely dwarfs the coercion of “feeling-the-fear-and-doing-it-anyway.”
But what if you can’t find that feeling of love for some you “have” to do?”
Either get creative in how you create* the thing in your Reality or examine the “have to” of it.
Ask yourself, as Master Coach Rich Litvin does: “Is it a Hell Yeah! or a No?”
So, if it’s a “Hell Yeah!,” but you don’t know how to get started, take a second and search yourself for the love you have for the both process of the creation of it and how things will be different once it’s created. (It’s there . . . trust me.)
If it’s a “No.” then all you have to do is let it go.
The only thing in the way of letting go of something is the belief you have about why you have to keep it.
Ask yourself – your deep, true real Self – if the belief is true. The answer will set you free.**
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* We create every aspect of our Experience (or Reality, if that’s your preferred word).
** Byron Katie’s “The Work” is amazing in terms of examining beliefs and releasing the ones that are untrue/non-resourceful.
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Here’s something that helped me understand the nature of fearlessness. There is a fearless state that is simple joy-the joy of love, and the relaxation that is fearlessness.
To understand it better, let’s look at the concept of darkness. Darkness isn’t anything. Darkness is merely the absence of light, and when I bring light into the room there is no more darkness.
I didn’t have to overcome the darkness, I didn’t have to remove the darkness. Darkness is nothing at all. It’s the absence of light.
Well, fear is the same thing. Fear is the absence of love. So I don’t have to overcome the fear, battle the fear, be brave, and feel the fear and do it anyway. If enough love comes in, there is no more fear. Fear wasn’t anything to begin with but the absence of love.
It’s interesting that most people that I talk to or coach or work with or associate with have confusion about the word “fearless.” They think fearless means “brave” or “courageous” or “bold” or something like that; but it’s really important to see that it’s nothing like that.
In fact it’s not even similar to that.
Being fearless is absolute, relaxed, inner peace, relaxation, connection to the universe, happiness, deep happiness—not surface pleasure. And there’s no thought of fear. There’s no feeling of fear whatsoever. There’s no idea of fear.
The feeling is like “why would I be afraid of that?” That’s a fearless state.
There’s so many things we do throughout the day in a fearless way that we don’t even notice the fearlessness, but anything we feel real love about-when we are really loving a person, or we’re really loving an event or something-playing a song on the piano, or jogging, or running, or playing volleyball, or something we’re really loving that we do.
A lot of us have aspects of work that we just love and so we’re caught up in the present moment flow of it and there’s no fear at that time until we starting thinking of the future.