Category: Blog

The Best Within Us

If you want to get the best out of a person you must look for the best that is in him. – Bernard Haldane

This is what coaching is, and does.

What’s more, it’s a wonderful way to go through life.

I’m sure if you think about it, it’s the best way to manage, and lead, and interact with people in general.

But are you willing to take it to its loving extreme?

Are you willing to look for the best in yourself?

You believe that you can do more right?

You know that you’re capable of more than what you’re doing now? Right?

Well, the answer to begin to unlock your greater potential is to look for it.

To look for it you must truly believe it’s there.

Tell me you believe.

Now act on that belief.

The Perfection of Being Overweight

You may find the title of this blog post curious. How can being overweight be perfect?

Because there’s no mystery about how one becomes overweight. Every person who isn’t at their Ideal Weight made a series of decisions that created their “overweight-ness.”

Granted it’s a long series of small choices, but no one becomes overweight overnight. It takes time.

The perfection is that because there’s a definite path to becoming overweight, there is a definite path to one’s Ideal Weight.

Another aspect of the perfection is that it will take time. It is wonderful that “losing” weight takes time. Just as one does not add weight quickly (although it may seem like that way), one does not shed weight quickly.

The hard truth – for someone who wants to weigh less – is that the only way to shed weight is to take responsibility for the choices one made to add the weight.

Not blame, shame or self-loathing, but stepping up and saying “I made many small choices, over a long period of time, and now I weigh ### pounds.”

Facing that (hard) truth will allow you to get curious about those choices. Getting curious will allow you to ascertain how exactly you ate-more/moved-less and created your current weight.

Our bodies are perfect representation of our habits around food and movement. If we eat more than we need and move less than is healthy, we add weight. If we eat less and move more, we shed weight.

The perfection is both the absolute relationship between our choices and our weight (and our health) and the fact that it takes a while to either gain weight or shed it.

One side of the coin is that (thankfully) we can’t gain a bunch of weight in a week, the other side is that we can’t shed a bunch of weight in a week.

Phew! What a relief . . .

Now, to shed the ~15 or so pounds I have added over the last few years – that I really, want to be free of.

No Pain, No Pain

We’ve all heard the expression: No Pain, No Gain.

Well, it’s wrong.

Following that formula will lead to injuries or burnout.

First, what do I mean, exactly, by “pain.”

Pain is not discomfort. Pain is not working hard. Pain is not struggling in the face of difficulty. Pain is not wishing it was easy when its hard. Pain is not not knowing if you’re going to be able to, and making it happen anyway.

Pain is pushing yourself to the point of injury. Pain is going too far, working too hard, attempting too many reps.

Aspiring to pain, or allowing it as something that is necessary is a mistake.

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I’m here to offer an alternative.

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No Train. No Gain.

To get better. we must do the work.

To achieve our goals and be more we must practice, and learn, and “fail,” and overcome.

We must do the reps and grind it out when we’re tired, or we want to be home or when we just wish it were easier.

If we don’t do the work, we won’t get the result.

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But we don’t risk injury, or burn-out, or depression or alienating those we care about by over-working.

We do the work.

And we make time for those we love.

And we rest and recover so our bodies and mind can regenerate – so we can be fresh and vibrant for each “practice” and be ready for each “game.”

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No Pain. No Pain.

Happiness Is Created

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. – The Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama)

Happiness is not something you buy.

Happiness is not some place you get to.

Happiness is not something you trade misery for.

Happiness is something you create – by your thoughts, feelings and actions.

What are you creating?

How To Re-Make Your Mind

As irrigators lead water where they want, as archers make their arrows straight, as carpenters carve wood, the wise shape their minds. – Buddha

Your experience of life, and your results, come from your thoughts.

For the great majority of us, our thoughts are sometimes scattered, occasionally chaotic and insistent, and often rapid-fire.

How can we, as the Buddha exhorts us, shape our minds?

Our scattered, chaotic, insistent, and often, rapid-fire monkey minds?

By meditating.

“Meditating!? My life is too busy and full to sit lotus-style for a hour each day!”

You don’t have to.

Each day, find a quiet dark place, sit quietly, close your eyes and notice you breath going in and out.

For one minute.

As your mind gets distracted by thoughts and your attention drifts from your breath. Return to your breath, gently and lovingly and peacefully.

As your skill with this practice increases (and it will), increase the time.

Perhaps to 90 seconds. Maybe even two minutes.

But never more than you think you manage, consistently.

Just doing this, every day, will transform your ability to be present and manage your thoughts well.

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Be patient, persistent and loving with this. It took you many years of using your mind as you have to create the patterns that exist – it will take some time to create new patterns.