Success is a skill.
It’s not something we arrive at, or get, or have bestowed upon us or finally possess.
It’s something that must be developed, over time, and continually re-made and renewed.
It’s what we choose to think.
It’s how we choose to think.
Are we choosing useful and constructive thoughts? Are we meditating and training our mind to calm and effective? Are we practicing gratitude and focusing on what we value and what works?
It’s how we choose to act and the habits we create and nurture.
It’s how we choose to eat, drink and sleep. Are we eating healthy foods and portions? Are we drinking plenty of fresh, clean water? Are we getting at least seven hours of sleep per night and taking regular recovery breaks during the day?
It’s who we associate with and how we treat the people in our lives. Are we spending time with people that support and stretch us? Are we carefully and regularly nurturing the relationshiops that we truly value? Are we shedding relationships that don’t serve us? Are we talking with ourselves in a supportive and accurate manner?
These (among others) are the things that make up the practice of success.
How are you doing with your practice?
You are what you think you are.
What do you think you are?
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You are who you think you are.
Who do you think you are?
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The answers determine what you’re willing to try, what you think you can do and what you deserve.
What are your answers?
Do they support your best life?
Are they in harmony with your best self? Your eternal, all-powerful, indestructible self?
If they’re not, you can change the answers.
You can change what you think and change what and who you are.
People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds. It is something one creates. – Thomas Szasz
Saying one must “find themself” is such a mind-fudge.
As if who you are is out there, waiting under some rock or behind a tree.
Who are, and who you’ll become, is something you create, something you craft.
You make this thing called the you that isn’t yet, by what you think, feel and do.
If you want to create an amazing, wonderful, loving, healthy and wealthy self, then you must do the things that create that person.
To do those things you feel the feelings that generate those actions.
To feel those feelings you must think the thoughts that create those emotions.
So, in the end, as is always does, it comes down to what you’re thinking.
Maybe it’s different for monkeys and dolphins and kangaroos . . . who knows?
But for you and me and us humans, what we think is what matters.
Think like who you wish to become.
I recently read a post on Johnny B. Truant’s blog that really hit home. So much so that I wanted to do two things: share it with my readers and 2) think on and write about each piece of his post. The post is “20 Truths About Life No One Wants To Believe” and the next one I am going to tackle is:
16. Clueless people don’t know they’re clueless, and never will. If you’re aghast that someone is a total dipshit and feel the need to show them the dipshit nature of their ways, don’t bother to try. It may be super-obvious to you that you really shouldn’t rest your testicles on the countertop while using the sink like some old men used to do at my gym, but they’re never going to have that epiphany. They may change to please you, but they will never think, “Wow, I was really dumb!”
This is a great follow-on to last week’s post. But I’m going to relate something from the coaching world to make my point.
Coaches never coach unless asked. Why? Because actual coaching cannot occur if the person is resistant to the possibility of change.
Are coaching clients, somewhat, resistant to change? Sure. But they are open to the possibility of change.
They are open to the possibility of asking themselves: 1) what they truly want 2) what they’re doing to keep it out of their lives and 3) what they’re willing to experiment with instead.
Coaching is a permission-based activity. People must be open to change to create any sort of lasting change.
So, just as I wouldn’t waste (anyone’s) energy or time trying to coach someone who isn’t open to change, nor should you try to educate/change/enlighten/advise/improve any one else.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. – Helen Keller
Well, she would know.
The beauty of the truth of how character is developed is that it gives us two amazing gifts.
One: we get to discover that we can things we thought we couldn’t and we learn we’re strong, wiser, kinder and better than we might have thought.
Two: we learn what we don’t want. What we’re unwilling to endure again. What we will chose differently so as to never have to experience again.
One key aspect of character is knowing what you want, what you don’t want and making the choices – difficult or otherwise – to create something else.