Give Feedback, and Go Beyond It

It is irrational to expect someone to change his or her behavior based on nonexistent feedback. – John A. Allison

I’ve often heard, and sometimes said, “You can only fix the problems you know about.”

While I could go into awareness and the importance of paying attention and asking good questions, I’d rather alert you to the value of discussing things with people – things that matter.

People want to get better, they want to be connected and they want to be valued.

If you’re in a position to help people understand their actions and performance, it’s a gift – and in some respects a duty on your part – to share your observations and engage them in a dialogue on what they’re doing and what they might do differently (and better). (Assuming, of course, it’s appropriate and welcome.)

*  *  *

Okay, that’s all well and good, but why don’t more do this, and why do some do it so poorly?

Because they give feed-back (purposeful emphasis on back).

What if there were a way to create conversations that both parties could feel good about?

What if the “instigator” could look forward to it as much as the person being “counseled?”

There’s a way: feed-forward.

Marshall Goldsmith created the idea of “feed-forward” conversations.

Where, without ignoring reality or needed improvements, the focus is on what’s happened, what’s needed and what can be done (what can be agreed on) to improve the situation.

With feed-forward, the emphasis in moving forward – not what’s back.

Ideally, it’s a “coaching” conversation where both parties are there willingly and agree to speak openly and honestly about what’s happened and what’s needed – and that commitments are created and not coerced.

If you’re a manager, consider having feed-forward sessions with your charges and if you want to change your 1-0n-1s and weekly meetings with the “boss,” ask that the “feed-forward” model be incorporated into your next meeting.

It’ll make all the difference.

Similar Posts

  • Do You Really Want To?

    Time is a created thing. To say, ‘I don’t have time’ is to say, ‘I don’t want to.’ – Lao Tzu What do you spend your time doing? The key is that time is a limited resource and what you do with it matters. When you say you can’t do something it’s because you’ve decided (consciously or…

  • Get On Your *Own* Team

    [The essence of self-esteem:] “If I’m not on my team, why would anyone else be?” – Robery Downey, Jr. I heard Robert say that while being interviewed on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It’s sheer frickin’ genius. So simple, yet so profound – and surprisingly, something I’ve never heard anyone say (quite like that… ). I’m not,…

  • Fear and Passion

    I am interrupting my watching of Seth Godin on Jonathan Fields’ Good Life Project to explore an idea Seth presented. Brother Seth was talking about how people begin things and how whether they are 1) afraid and 2) if they care impacts what happens (if anything). I had an idea to map the idea, using a…