Listening: How To Be Great

“It takes a great man to be a good listener.” – Calvin Coolidge

Everyone wants to talk, to speak, to share and communicate – to be heard.

To be heard is to be significant and everyone needs significance. (They don’t want it, or think it would be nice to have… they need it.)

To truly listen, one has to put aside the needs of the Ego and be whole and present. To be needless and giving of time and attention.

So, to listen to someone, to truly be present when they are communicating and really hear them is one of the greatest skills. And it’s one of the hardest things to do.

Listening to someone – not merely formulating your response as you wait for them to stop speaking – is truly a gift.

It is a rare and precious acknowledgment of someone’s humanity. It’s like giving air to their soul.

People, on a deep and profound level, know when they’ve been listened to and the best way to impact someone is make sure that they know they’ve truly been heard.

And it’s often not something you actively do, it’s the calm stillness within you that only comes from being present to someone’s words.

It’s not easy, and takes time to develop the skill, but truly great people are excellent listeners.

Similar Posts

  • Schedule Nothing

    Make sure you take the time to regularly schedule nothing. If you’re in the habit of always scheduling something, of filling your schedule, make sure you take time for nothing. Not “nothing” in an absolute sense, but times where you just relax or practice being present, with no particular agenda, maybe with a certain (restorative/renewing)…

  • Just Sit Quietly for Three Minutes. Seriously.

    This week’s external resource is a transcript of an interview with Mirabai Bush. She teaches meditation and mindfulness. The article describes different programs she has been involved with and the myriad benefits of increased mindfulness: better listening, team work, stress and anger management and improved health. I want you to read the article, but more…

  • Who Is Your Sun?

    “And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth,‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky.” – Rumi We all have at least one “Sun” in our lives. Who is it for you? Let them know, by word and deed.

  • What Keeps You Small?

    Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. – Pema Chodron That which we resist, persists. What keeps coming up for you? “Causing you*” persistent, or recurring, or even occasional, angst, frustration, upset, overwhelm, anger or sadness? What in you must evolve to solve, or better yet make irrelevant, this…

  • Planning Done Well

    It’s better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret. – Jacki Joyner-Kersee This quote has me thinking about planning, and about how people misunderstand planning. A couple things I’ve noticed: either people don’t see any value in planning or they worry that it will hinder their spontaneity. There’s not much one…