Most of us don’t believe we can ask for what we want – especially if what we want is amazing, even audacious.
Well, we can. You can.
There are two ways you can ask: 1) create a mind-shift whereby you just decide to; or 2) if that doesn’t seem possible, create the resources required for audacity.
People often think they will be judged as “not enough:” not smart enough, not expert enough, not experienced enough, not loving enough, not caring enough or not attentive enough to ask for exactly what they want (and what most would consider “audacious”).
Well, in the vast majority of cases you are the only one who thinks you aren’t “enough.”
So, all you have to do – if you can’t shift your mind as I suggest above* – is demonstrate to yourself that you’ve earned the right to be audacious.
Contemplate what “they” would say about you if you dared ask for what you want. Whether it be in business, in family, in a relationship… whatever. Imagine what the “judgers” and the nay-sayers would say if you were clear, authentic and uninhibited in your request(s).
Then, develop a plan, say over three months, to do what is required to create the “legitimacy” required to make your ask. (And you get to decide what is sufficient in this respect; have no fear, you’ll get this calculation right… )
And then do it.
Day in and day out…
Hew to the plan, when it’s fun and feels good and when it’s drudgery.
Again, the only person you really need to convince is yourself – but you’re likely a serious skeptic (at-least/especially when it comes to “audacious” requests).
So do “it.”
Do the work of developing the skill.
Do the work of “being” a certain way with yourself or others.
Do the work of becoming…
Show others, the Universe and yourself that you’re no poser.
And then, when you’re feeling a little less scared, a little less apprehensive – and even – a little bit confident, then you’re ready.**
You’ve done the work.
You’ve asked yourself what really needs to be in place and you’ve made it happen.
Ask for what you want.
Once you’ve demonstrated your resolve to the toughest critic (overwhelmingly, and in most every case: you), you’re ready to ask for what you truly want.
Then you can start making the contribution you’re here for.***
* Just deciding to doesn’t mean you don’t ask intelligently, and honestly. It just means that you have a “perfectness” inside of you (as we all do) that can’t diminished, regardless of our imperfect behavior. The “shift” is finding a way to hear – and feel – that perfectness and come from that.
** Remember, you are always ready to be fully who you are, you just have thoughts that get in the way.
*** Of course, again (in almost every case) you can shift your mind and get started now. But if you “can’t,” then a few months of preparation is a small price to pay (for a lifetime of audacious self-expression and authentic living).