I recently read a post on Johnny B. Truant’s blog that really hit home. So much so that I wanted to do two things: share it with my readers and 2) think on and write about each piece of his post. The post is “20 Truths About Life No One Wants To Believe” and the next one I am going to tackle is:
15. Everyone lives life according to their own rules, not yours. Someone says something to you and you’re offended. You think they’re being a jerk, because you have a personal rule that says, “If you say X to someone, it’s because you want to insult them.” But that other person doesn’t necessarily have the same rules as you have. They’re responding according to their own rules, and in all probability, their rules say that they are responding appropriately. They may even think that you are the bad guy. So who’s right? Neither; you simply have different rules. The sooner you realize that everyone is trying to do the best they can in life with what they have (rather than going out of their way to be mean to you), the better.
Anything that mentions “rules” is always of interest to me.
One of my greatest sources of angst, upset and discontent are the “rules” I have about how people should act.
In instances of low awareness, I can default to reacting to the actions of others, through a lens of what I think they should do.
It’s not helpful, or healthy.
As a matter of fact, if I’m honest, I know it’s all about what I’m not doing and how I am projecting an internal frustration onto the world.
Thankfully, it’s happening less and less.
One question I have made available, and use, sometimes, is: is this my business?
I take this question from Byron Katie. She offers the following distinction: it’s either my business, your business or God’s* business.
I have no business in your business and certainly not God’s business.
When I remind myself of that, I immediately get back-on-track and can resume my work.
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* While I’m not one to use the the word “God,” I certainly believe in an all-encompassing, loving, Universal intelligence that animates everything.