Category: Blog

Everyone Needs a Coach

Why does everyone need a coach?

For myriad reasons; in particular: 1) because you can’t see yourself do what you do and 2) everyone around you has an agenda that isn’t 100% your growth and development.

 

Tiny Wonders

I have ridden motorcycles for over three years now. It was only a couple months ago that I was introduced to ear plugs. A friend asked if I had some ear plugs as I was leaving his house and I (somewhat sheepishly) said “No.” I then admitted that  had never used them while riding. Without having given it much real consideration, I thought that my (high-quality) Arai full-face helmet was enough (or as good as it gets . . . ).

I put in the simple foam earplugs he offered (I remembered them from some target shooting I did as a kid) and headed north on my motor-bike. Oh. My. Goodness. What a difference! It was so much quieter, and so much more pleasant.

Let me tell you the point of this post. I really enjoy having my morning coffee at Starbucks. I don’t get the fancy, expensive drinks, just good fashioned drip coffee. And I really like their coffee. Anyway, the one thing I don’t like about Starbucks is that the house music is usually a little loud for me. Often-times I will ask them to turn it down, but in my (current) favorite Starbucks, the volume control is really touchy and they can’t really turn it down to my preferred level.

So, what to do? Well, I have been toughing-it-out and staying as long as I could stand. But then I thought: what if I tried some ear plugs? I have a bunch that I bought from Amazon . . . why not give ’em a try?

To make a short story not so long, I did (just a few minutes ago . . . ), and what a difference! I can still hear the music, but it is so much quieter. I can still hear conversations, but they are muted (and I could still hear someone speaking to me if need be).

Problem of too-loud-music at Starbucks: solved.

Click here to see the ear plugs I am using.

About Habits

“Do you have habits, or do your habits have you?” – Brian Tracy

I heard that  this morning while listening to his audio program “Focal Point” (one of my favorite programs of his) in the car. It hit me particularly hard as I know, deep-down, that many of my habits don’t serve me, and they indeed have me.

One reason (perhaps the primary one . . . ) that habits are so had to break is that we see repeated actions that don’t harm us as functional. This happens on a less-than-conscious level and the effects accrete over time. We find ourselves surviving — but not thriving — and we don’t even know the difference.

I liken the situation to the difference in feeling between how we view a job when we first start (and we’re full of hope, optimism and energy) and how we feel after a year or so (we are usually ambivalent, at best). We know deep-down that something isn’t right, but we soldier on, feeling the pressure of many obligations (and not having a clear enough idea of what we truly want, instead).

I want to know what you would do instead. If you could make a significant change, what would it be? For me it would be a change that is both big and small. Meaning: I would spend my time in a more focused way, on the tasks I know are critical to my authentic goals (the small bit), and that my actions would “result” in me having a successful, thriving coaching practice that allows me to earn an excellent income while enjoying myself, my friends and my time (the big bit).

Meet Your Own Expectations

One of the hardest things we could ever do is meet the expectation we hold of others, ourselves.

That thought occurred to me this morning as I was driving to Starbucks for my morning coffee today. I was noticing that I was (allowing myself to) get annoyed with the driver in front of me. I was (slightly) upset that the person wasn’t really paying attention to the task at hand (according to me) and was in-my-way.

Putting aside the utter silliness of my frustration (after all, I was the one who chose to be on the road, and I know that people often don’t drive the way I think they should), I realized that 1) my expectations were situationally in-appropriate and 2) what was really bothering me was how — in areas other than driving — I was not meeting my own expectations in some key areas of my life.

Wow! That’s as powerful and useful a realization as I allow it to be. Will I dig deep and look at the expectations I have for myself and how I am meeting (or not meeting) them, or will I rationalize away the Truth of my frustration and stay “stuck?”

I am going to step up to the former. I am going to muster all the awareness I have when I’m in the car and actively accept what is happening (or not happening) n front of me. And I am going to work on looking at what I am not doing, that I say is important, and start doing at least some of it, and what I’m doing that doesn’t serve my values and goals and replace those things that do serve my values and goals.

Does any of this ring true for you? Are there areas of external frustration that are really things you need to work on? How can you shift your awareness and actions to honor your true values and authentic goals? Please let me know in the comments below.