Category: Blog

The Time Is Always Right

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

For such a substantial quote, that says so much, there’s really nothing for me to add.

What do Fitzgerald’s words stir up in you?

F.E.A.R.

People like to play with the letters of “fear” and make them into cute little acronyms. Some of them are actually useful, one comes to mind: False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear stops so many people from doing what they want to do that I feel compelled to introduce my own little riff on the four letters of fear.

Mind you, it’s – as someone who taught me a great deal while she was in my life would say – a bit salty.

FEAR = F#$k Everything And Rise

I say this because so much of what constitutes fear these days is nothing to be afraid of.

We have a physiology that, in our exceedingly safe and comfortable world, tricks us into fighting, fleeing, and sometimes, freezing.

And it’s 99.999% bull.

Public-speaking. Nothing to be afraid of.

Asking that attractive person out for coffee. Just do it already.

A deep-throated growl in the dead of night, deep in the forest. Yeah, that should get your attention.

Otherwise, fudge everything and rise.

P.S. Just after I finished drafting this I started to go through my e-mail and read a message from a mentor (Steve Chandler) that dove-tails perfectly with this above message; I offer it here in its entirety (links added by me):

I was on Michael Neill’s radio show recently and it was fun as usual. Michael used to be a comedian on TV in Wales when he was a young actor. He has a great sense of humor. On the show, we talked about asking. Why people don’t ask for what they want. We talked about Byron Katie‘s observation that “you could have anything you wanted if you were willing to ask a thousand people for it.”

He asked me to offer my theory about why we don’t ask for what we want in life. How we set up our days to avoid this process, and how a deep subconscious fear of rejection has more influence on our daily activity than any plan or created future.

Fear of disapproval. Fear of bothering others. Ruling the life of the fearful person. You don’t want that. You want your mission to rule. You want the project you are committed to…to rule your day.

Live well,

Steve

ps- THIS is the project that rules my day:
http://www.stevechandler.com/wealth_warrior_movement.html

What’s In Your Language?

Less than three minutes in to the latest episode of the Good Life Project I heard something that I had to write about.

In introducing how he went from soccer-playing college freshman from the ‘burbs to immersed in indigenous Amazonian culture, Tyler Gage talks about how stewardship was part of the language of an indigenous tribe he was “with.”

It immediately got me to thinking about our own personal language, and what it contains.

I’m a pretty keen observer of people and their language and I noticed that “lack” and “can’t” is integral to the language of many.

So many people speak about what they can’t do, or what they don’t have (or what’s gone wrong, and why that keeps them from what they want).

Language is fundamental to our lives because we experience our lives through meaning.

And meaning is transmitted through language.

Life is.

But to each of us, life is what we think it is. And we think through language.

We feel emotions (thoughts manifested in our bodies), but we think language.

So, the language we use uses us.

The Lessons Will Keep Reappearing

The lessons we need to learn, the lessons we must learn, will – invariably – keep showing up until we learn them.

Case-in-point: my current desire to shed weight, become lighter and live my Ideal Weight.

I am happy to say that I am making progress. I am shedding weight because my behavior has changed. My behavior has changed because my choices have changed. And my choices have changed because my thinking has changed.

So, it all started with my thinking, but each bit is equally important: thoughts, choices, behavior.

Despite my long-repeated protestations (to myself ) that I wanted to be lighter, I was “stuck” in a weight range (between 21 and 24 pounds more than my Ideal Weight (178 pounds)).

The lesson that I needed to learn (that my thoughts, choices and behavior had to be aligned) was persistent. There would be no change without change.

Put another way: I couldn’t wish my way out of something that I had behaved my way into.

Can you relate? Is there some annoyance, issue, difficulty or challenge that either won’t go away or seems to keep popping up for you?

What needs to change – in you – to resolve it?

What’s out-of-alignment in your life?

How do you need to grow or evolve to make the annoyance/issue/difficulty/challenge solvable?

P.S. I am making progress on my journey to my Ideal Weight. One helpful tweak was I allowed myself to create an “intermediate” goal of 190 pounds. I was, rather – as I can see now – ridiculously, worried that if I set some kind of intermediate goal I would stop there and be “satisfied.”

I now realize that I look forward to reaching my intermediate goal, pausing to celebrate and de-brief, and then moving on my ultimate goal (which is to weigh 178 (+/- two pounds) and be strong and flexible).