Category: Blog

The Truth Will Set You Free – Part 3 of 20

I recently read a post on Johnny B. Truant’s blog that really hit home. So much so that I wanted to do two things: share it with my readers and 2) think on and write about each piece of his post. The post is “20 Truths About Life No One Wants To Believe” and the third one I am going to tackle is:

3. Most people are lazy.
People say they want to make some kind of a change. They get good, solid advice. Then they do nothing. NOTHING. In most cases, failure is not the result of outside influences. In most cases, failure is due to a simple lack of effort. It’s an ugly truth, but it’s the truth, all right: most people don’t want what they claim to want badly enough to actually put in the work required to get it.

I am lazy too.

No, wait, scratch that.

Sometimes I am lazy.

No! Wait. Scratch that one too…

First of all, I agree – whole-heartedly – with Johnny’s premise. The reason most people don’t have what they want is not due to lack of resources, or ability, or opportunity. It’s lack of effort.

But I want to use my response to Johnny’s words to make an important distinction: the brain, specifically/more-importantly, the sub-conscious, doesn’t understand negative qualifiers.

In other words, when we say “Don’t do that,” or I am not lazy,” all our brains hear is “Do that,” or “I am lazy.”

That’s why I do my best to say things like: “Remember to pick up the milk.” (And not, “Don’t forget the milk.”)

So, to circle back to the question of “laziness” and what we “are,” let me re-state things, in an accurate and resourceful way:

“Most of the time I am energetic and productive.”

“I am doing my best to focus on my goals and do the hard and necessary work required for their achievement.”

“I continue to experiment and act, knowing that all results are merely information and feedback* helping me to act more and more intelligently.”

What can you re-frame – accurately and resourcefully – that will transform your self-image and approach to life?

***

* I prefer to say “feed-forward,” a term I learned from Marshall Goldsmith, but for the sake of clarity now, I’ll leave that for another post…

How Attraction Really Works

Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person. – Gloria Steinem

I’m single and looking.

Or at least I used to be.

A very good friend of mine has long advocated that the best way to find a compatible, and quality, mate is do the things you love and see who shows up. They will: 1) likely share your interests and 2) be someone who gets off her ass and does stuff.

Both great qualities in a potential mate

And, best thing of all, no matter happens, you’re out there doing stuff you enjoy.

So, I am no longer single and looking.

I am single and doing.

Doing stuff I love and that intrigues, interests and excites me.

I am being who I am and paying a bit of attention to who shows up.

My Ideal Woman is out there, I just need to get out there too – it’s a question of proximity.

What Are We?

I had a thought the other day and wanted to share the notes I feverishly scribbled down, along with a couple further thoughts.

Here’s what I came up with (un-edited):

We are spiritual beings with a body.

We experience the world through our body – our senses.

We think, that is how we move our spirit into the physical.

How we think makes *ALL* the difference.

Because we have a body, and it’s all we have, for now, how we care for it matters a great deal:

  • sleep
  • learning
  • food
  • rest/recovery/exercise

What do you think?

On a related note: do you agree with Descartes? That because we think, we are? Or because we are, we think? (I am strongly in the camp of the latter.)

What about how we experience the world? Do you agree that it’s all about how we think… how we use our minds (and, by extension, our brains – the tool of our thoughts)?

And what about our bodies?

How important is it for us to care for them properly: to fuel them well and exercise them regularly and consistently rest them?

Don’t Speak, Unless…

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” – Plato

I have read that one should not speak unless it improves upon the silence.

It’s good advice.

One thing I am working on (improving) is my word economy. Sometimes I talk too much. I offer more detail than  requested or needed.

Many of us could all improve in this area.

But, more fundamentally, we need to ask ourselves, will speaking improve things? In that we place great meaning and import in words, will what we say add to the situation?

Often times the answer is no.

Consider developing the habit of considering your words before speaking.

Will it improve the situation?

Will others be better off for our having spoken?

Will it improve upon the silence?

Or are we speaking just to talk?